Cellular Breakdown
by IcedHeat
Summary: When Jack and Sam are captured offworld there are far-reaching consequences. S8 SJ
1. Chapter 1

SG-1 were running. It seemed to Sam that they'd been running a lot recently. Without looking,  
she knew Teal'c was on her right, Jonas just ahead and Colonel O'Neill just behind.

Ahead of her, Jonas reached the DHD and dialled Earth. Seconds later the stargate engaged.  
O'Neill's voice sounded over their radios. 'Get through the gate!'

Jonas ran through, closely followed by Teal'c. Sam was about go through when some sixth sense  
made her turn. As she skidded to a halt, one of the Jaffa chasing them fired a zat blast at Jack,  
hitting him squarely in the back. O'Neill went down.

'Sir!' Sam yelled, running to his side. The colonel was still conscious, and Sam knelt down and  
slipped an arm under his, pulling him to his feet.

'Carter!' O'Neill snapped. 'Get to the gate!'

'Yes, sir,' she responded, still dragging him.

'No, Carter, _you_-'

A staff weapon blasting the ground at their feet interrupted him. They both rolled to the side,  
narrowly avoiding a second blast.

'Carter!' Jack yelled. Sam looked at him. That second staff blast had clipped his leg. He was  
bleeding. 'Get to the damn gate!'

Too late, the Jaffa were closing on them. Sam thumbed her radio, 'This is Major Carter!  
Close the iris!'

'Major?' Hammond's voice crackled over their radios.

As Sam opened her mouth to reply, she was hit by a zat blast. She fell to the ground, hitting  
her head on a rock and rendering herself unconscious.

--

When she awoke, she found herself on the floor of a cell. That in itself wasn't surprising, the fact  
that she was alone, was.

She moved towards the bars and called, 'Hey!'

When no one responded she sat on the hard bunk on one side of the cell and waited.

An hour later the door to the adjacent cell opened and Colonel O'Neill was pushed inside. He looked rough.  
As the door slammed shut behind him he limped over to the bunk in his cell and sat down heavily.

When the sound of the Jaffas' boots died away, he looked through the bars at Sam.

'There's no Goa'uld here,' he said. 'They've been on their own for about a hundred years. Guess the  
Tok'ra were wrong.' He sighed and rested his head on the wall, closing his eyes. 'I'm gonna get some  
sleep. Wake me if they come back, will ya?'

'What about your leg?' Sam asked.

'Its just a scratch.' He dismissed.

Sam watched him as he fell asleep. He'd been wary of taking a mission from the Tok'ra, and after the  
whole Baal thing she couldn't blame him.

It had seemed simple enough. They were told that there was a lesser-known Goa'uld here, someone who  
had technology the Tok'ra wanted and had – unusually – promised to share with their allies if the mission  
was successful. Jack, knowing how much pressure General Hammond was under to acquire new technology,  
hadn't put up too much of a fight against taking the mission.

Sam sighed and rested her head against the wall behind her, hearing General Hammond's words from ten  
hours ago in her head.

'_SG-1, you have a go. God speed.' _

_Jack nodded to Teal'c to take point and the large Jaffa moved through the gate, followed by Jonas and Major  
Carter. Then he turned, threw a lazy salute in the General's direction and followed Carter up the ramp._

_As they walked through the verdant forest on the planet Sam found herself watching the Colonel a little more  
closely than was safe for her mental health. He was wearing the ubiquitous sunglasses, hiding his eyes from  
view, but she could tell from the line of his jaw and the tightness of his fingers on the butt of his P-90 that he  
was worried._

_Teal'c and Jonas were walking up ahead, the Kelownan holding up both ends of their conversation as the  
Jaffa scanned their surroundings._

_Sam sidled up to the Colonel. 'Everything okay, sir?'_

_'__Everything's wonderful, Carter, why?'_

_'__You look… tense,' Sam said, feeling embarrassed as she said it._

_'__Been keeping an eye on me, Major?' Jack said, turning his head slightly so he could look at her._

_Sam had to fight hard not to blush. 'You just seemed tense, that's all,' she said, adding 'sir,' as an afterthought._

_'__Well, Carter, as you know, I'm not the Tok'ra's biggest fan. They're all double-crossing deceptive-' he  
broke off, glancing at her, 'except your dad, of course.'_

_She smiled at him and he looked away._

_When they reached the village they found it suspiciously devoid of Goa'uld. The people seemed nice  
and hardworking. Very hardworking._

_They allowed SG-1 to stay overnight, telling them that they would have to leave in the morning, so as  
not to interrupt the harvest._

_They gave SG-1 a large empty mud hut to share. As Jonas settled down to sleep, he remarked, 'For  
people that work so hard, they live very poorly.'_

_As Teal'c opened his mouth to respond someone said, 'It is because of the tithe.'_

_Sam turned towards the shadow of the doorway and saw a young man standing there. She'd seen  
him at the communal dinner where she'd noted he looked uneasy._

'_What tithe?' Jack asked._

'_The tithe we must pay to the priests,' said the young man, stepping into the light of the room. 'You  
must all go.'_

'_We are departing in the morning,' Teal'c said._

_The man shook his head. 'You must leave now, through the Chaapa-ai, the way you came. You have  
caused great debate in the village, but now they are of one mind.'_

'_Not you?' Jack asked._

_The man shook his head again. 'I do not believe the sacrifices are necessary. They took my wife.'_

_For a few moments no one spoke, then Sam said, 'Sacrifices?'_

'_Every year we give of our harvest to the priests, every month we give sacrificial victims to the priests.  
They take everything and give nothing back!'_

'_What's your name?' Jack asked. _

'_Atal.'_

'_Atal, what is it that the villagers are in agreement about?'_

'_They believe we should give you to the priests as sacrifice, in place of our own people.'_

'_You don't agree?'_

'_I don't think any body should be given to the priests, I believe the gods are gone and the sacrifices are  
meaningless.' He paused, apparently listening, then said, 'You must go! The priests are coming for you!'_

_Outside, they could hear the sound of booted feet. Jack and Teal'c shared a look._

'_Don't sound like priests to me,' Jack said, rising._

'_Indeed,' Teal'c said, also getting to his feet. 'They sound like Jaffa.'_

_They moved out of the hut into the almost absolute darkness of the night, heading for the gate. Atal  
melted into the darkness, his job done._

_They made it about a hundred yards before they heard the Jaffa shouting to one another. All four of  
them broke into a run._

Sam opened her eyes and looked over at the Colonel. He looked exhausted and she wondered how long  
she'd been unconscious. She checked her watch, and discovered that, curiously, she'd been left with her  
GDO, all the Jaffa had taken was her weapons.

_Boy, these guys really __**are**__ out of the loop, _she thought. Her watch told her they'd been here for  
twenty-eight hours, she'd been unconscious a long time.

She heard sounds outside the cells.

'Sir,' she called.

Jack's head snapped up. 'They'll take both of us this time.'

Four Jaffa walked into the dungeon, two moving to Colonel O'Neill's cell door and the other two  
opening her own.

'Come with us,' one of them snapped.

'Actually, we're kinda busy here. Can you come back later?' Jack said.

One of the Jaffa slapped Sam across the face. 'Do not test my temper. If you speak out of turn  
again, we will hurt her.'

Jack glared at him but said nothing. The Jaffa dragged them from their cells.


	2. Chapter 2

When they returned her to her cell, Colonel O'Neill was sitting in his own, staring at  
the floor

'Where are you from?' The Jaffa demanded, leaning over Sam threateningly.

He'd been asking the same question every day for a week, and every day Sam refused to  
answer. Then he would slap her. This went on for about half an hour a day, then he would  
send her back to her cell.

The Colonel was always returned to his cell about half an hour after they returned Sam, l  
ooking more and more badly beaten each time. Sam was getting worried about him, he was  
silent for long periods now, which was unlike him.

Another worrying thing, Sam mused as two Jaffa dragged her back to her cell, was that the  
Jaffa were seemingly uninterested in her. Aside from asking her where she came from and  
once asking about her zat, they asked her no other questions. She put it down to the fact that  
women seemed to be largely unimportant on this planet, which explained why they were so  
interested in Jack – the Colonel, she corrected. It was getting harder to think of him as just  
the Colonel or Colonel O'Neill. The man they dragged back to the cell was obviously in a lot  
of pain, and it was killing Sam to see him like this, especially so soon after what he went  
through with Baal.

When they returned her to her cell, Colonel O'Neill was – unusually - already sitting in his  
own, staring at the floor. She moved to the bunk on the far side of the cell and sat down heavily.

'Sir?' she asked, afraid they'd done severe damage to him this time.

'What is it, Carter?' he asked, his voice weary.

'Are you okay?' she asked, realising as she said it how ridiculous it was.

His response was, as expected, sarcastic, but his tone told her his heart wasn't in it. 'I'm just  
dandy, Carter, you?'

'I'm… okay. They just asked me the same questions.' She forebore from mentioning the violence,  
knowing he knew what was going on and that he was going through much worse.

He nodded. 'Good.'

They were silent for several minutes, then he said, 'They're gonna sacrifice me tomorrow morning.'

She stood. 'What? Why?'

'Because I'm in charge. They're gonna let you go. Afterwards.'

'General Hammond-'

'Its been a week, Carter. Hammond can't do anything. If he could, he would have by now.

She stared at him. He was just sitting on the cell floor, his back against his bunk, long legs  
stretched out in front of him. He was almost completely still, even his hands. That was more  
unsettling than everything else.

Sam walked over to the bars separating them. 'Sir…' she said, her voice soft.

'You should get some rest, Carter.' He said, not looking up.

Sam sunk down onto the cell floor, kneeling at the bars so she could reach through them. She  
grabbed a fistful of his jacket and tugged.

He ignored her. She tugged on his sleeve again, more insistently this time. Reluctantly, he  
moved towards the bars.

'What do you want, Carter?' he asked.

'Why are you doing this?' she demanded in a whisper.

'Doing what?'

'Giving up?'

'Giving up?' he repeated, looking up at her finally. She almost gasped. His lip was split and blood  
had run down over his cheek from a gash just above his right eye. 'There is no rescue coming.  
They know that. Don't ask me how, but they know. They wanted both of us.'

She rose to her feet and began pacing up and down beside the bars. 'But you convinced them  
otherwise?'

'Better one of us gets home than neither of us.'

'We could both get out of here, sir.' She said.

'Go to sleep, Carter.'

Sam glared down at him uncomprehendingly. He seemed to be trying to sleep. She relented and  
walked across her cell to the bunk in the corner. She lay on her side watching Jack for what seemed  
like hours before falling asleep.

--

Sam woke up with a jolt. She looked up, checking Jack was still there. He was, still sitting against  
his bunk, apparently asleep.

'It's about a half hour 'til sunup,' Jack said, surprising her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but apparently Jack had eyes in the back of his head and could  
see her without looking up. 'Don't start, Carter,' he ordered.

'We _could_ both get out of here,' she said, knowing she was repeating herself.

This time, instead of snapping at her, he shook his head. 'I've tried, Carter. I can't see other any way  
out of this. These people obviously learned a lot from Baal before he left. I can't keep going through  
this hoping for a rescue I know isn't coming. I can't wait here knowing that when they're done with me,  
they'll turn on you, much worse than they are already, believe me. I won't let that happen.'

She'd never seen him like this. 'Jack,' she whispered, feeling her throat constrict with emotion. She  
walked over to the side of the cell that adjoined his.

'Not now,' he murmured, 'please… not now.'

'_Jack,'_ she said, standing next to him, looking down at him through the bars.

He stood, his movements so quick she barely had time to register them before his hands were through  
the bars, grasping her jacket and pulling her towards the wide-set bars. His mouth was on hers, his tongue  
parting her lips and sweeping into her mouth. Sam moaned, and put her hands through the bars, twisting  
her fingers in his jacket, using him to anchor herself as she felt her legs begin to give out beneath her.

When he released her she staggered backwards into the cell. When she looked at him his eyes were blazing,  
his pupils so dilated that they appeared black. Sam stepped back, slightly afraid of this man in front of her,  
this man she trusted with her life.

'I'm sorry,' he said, 'I shouldn't have done that.' He sighed and said, 'I'm not giving up, Carter,' he said, his  
voice hoarse, 'but I can't let them kill you. You're too damn important.'

'So are you.'

'Not to me!'

She stared at him. 'Sir,' she said, knowing it was a mistake even as she said it.

Jack snorted derisively, '_Sir_.' He turned and rested his back against the bars, bringing his hand up to rub the  
back of his neck. "I can't do this anymore, Carter. I'm just too damn tired.'

'I'm scared, Jack,' she said, surprised at the feeling of shame admitting this to him caused.

'That's not like you, Carter,' Jack said. Ignoring her use of his first name cost him a lot, and he was beginning  
to think it might not be worth it. 'Look, they're gonna keep you in here 'til its over, then they'll march you to  
the gate and shove you through. I'm assuming you've still got your GDO since they left me with mine.'

'That's not what I meant,' she said and sighed deeply. 'This frightens me, Jack. The fact that you would give  
yourself up so willingly for me.'

'You're an important part of my team,' Jack said, the words dry in his mouth.

'Jack.'

He rounded on her. 'What, Carter? What? What is it you want from me?'

'The truth,' she said, her breathing quickened, her tone hard. 'Or is that too much to ask?'

'Fine!' he spat, 'I love you, Carter. Just like half the damn galaxy. And I'm not gonna sit back and let  
those sadistic bastards torture you. Not while I can stop it. And if you wanna throw the frat regs in my face,  
don't bother. Every time somethin' like this happens I sit there with them spinning round and round in my  
head. Now leave me the hell alone!' He turned his back on her again, leaning back on the cell bars so hard  
she was sure he'd hurt himself.

For a moment she stood there staring at him, weighing her options. Then she walked across her cell and  
took hold of his jacket, turning him around.

'Carter,' he began, his voice a growl.

She pulled him closer, slipping her hands through the bars and threading them through his hair as she  
kissed him, biting his lower lip when he resisted. After a moment, he responded fiercely, one of his hands  
going to her waist and pulling her tighter against the bars, the other running up into her hair, pulling at it  
gently. In response, she dug her nails into his neck, feeling him growl low in his throat, rather than hearing it.

She slid one of her hands down his back and up under his t-shirt, feeling a frisson of electricity run up her  
arm as she touched his superheated skin. A small part of Sam's brain registered that the heat rolling off him  
in waves couldn't be just due to her. His injuries must be infected. Even that tiny part of her analytical mind  
shut down when Jack growled and pulled her against the bars.

They parted for air and Sam somehow found the presence of mind to murmur, 'Jack…'

'Nope, no speaking,' Jack ordered. 'No speaking, no thinking.' He curled his fingers into her jacket and pulled  
her to him again.

Just as Jack's questing fingers wriggled into Sam's bra, there was a loud bang as his cell door was flung open.  
Sam stared breathlessly as three guards forcibly dragged Jack to the cell door. They bound his hands behind  
his back. Only three guards. _They must think we're no threat at all, _she thought. Looking at Jack, she could kinda  
see their point.

'Wait!' she yelled.

The guards stopped. One of them, apparently the leader, stalked over to her. 'What?'

'You can't take him. I won't let you.'

The guard laughed. 'You cannot stop us, woman. He will be sacrifice.'

'Wouldn't your god prefer two sacrifices?' she asked, noting that Jack was glaring at her. 'A nice female  
sacrifice?'

Jack opened his mouth, but only managed 'Car-' before one of the guards holding him hit him in the  
stomach.

The guard that was regarding Sam with a calculating look reached a decision. He walked out of Jack's cell  
and opened the door to Sam's reaching inside and dragging her out.

As they made their way through the maze of corridors Sam watched Jack. She could see him getting  
angrier and angrier. Angry they'd been interrupted. Angry at her for pulling this stunt. And angry he'd  
let anything happen in the cell in the first place. Finally, Jack recovered enough to snarl at Sam, 'You  
can't do this, Carter.'

'Just making sure I didn't get left behind, sir.'

'What?' he snapped.

'Silence!' One of his guards yelled. Jack glared at him.

'You heard me,' she snapped back at Jack, disregarding the guard's feelings on the subject of prisoner  
communication.

'And now they're going to kill us both! Nice plan, Carter. I thought you were supposed to be the smart  
one.'

'Smarter than you, sir.'

'Watch yourself, Major!' Jack yelled. Just as his guard was about to yell again Jack brought both his  
hands around to the front, the bindings dangling loosely from his left wrist. He hit one of the guards  
in the throat. The man went down making gurgling sounds that just couldn't be healthy. The other  
guard backed away, but Jack had already pulled his gurgling friend's weapon from his holster and fired  
it at him, catching him as he turned and began to run.

Sam's guard, slightly brighter than the other two, had managed to clear his weapon before it was  
roughly taken from him by Sam, who had kicked his wrist so hard she knew it was broken. As the  
guard made for Sam, apparently about to throttle her, Jack fired at him and he fell to the ground,  
eyes staring blankly upwards.

'Sir… Jack-' Sam began.

'Lets go,' Jack snapped, not meeting her eyes.

They managed to get out of the dungeon and into the fresh air relatively easily; everyone appeared  
to be at the arena, waiting for the sacrifice to begin. Once they cleared the trees and got in sight of  
the gate however, staff blasts began to hit the ground around them. Dully, Sam realised it wasn't just  
staff weapon blasts; they were being shot at by their own weapons. Apparently, their pursuers were bad  
shots, as they managed to reach the DHD without being hit.

Jack yelled, 'Dial it up!' pushing Sam down behind the DHD while he laid down cover fire. Sam hit the  
glyphs in the quickest time she ever had, entering her IDC as soon as the gate activated. She thumbed  
the radio they'd managed to find on their way out of the dungeon. 'Stargate command this is Major Carter!'

General Hammond's voice came through the radio. 'Major Carter, this is Stargate Command, what's  
your situation?'

'We are under heavy fire, General. We request-'

Jack grabbed the radio from her hand. 'Open the iris, sir!'

'Colonel, procedure-'

'General Hammond, please! You can kill us when we get home, just get us home!'

There was a moment's silence, then General Hammond said, 'The iris is open, Jack.'

Sam ducked as a hail of bullets soared over her head. 'Sir!' she yelled.

'Go!'

'Not without you!'

'Dammit, Carter! I'm right behind-' Jack groaned and slumped to the ground behind the DHD.

Sam wheeled around and grabbed him around the waist, dragging him up the steps and tumbling  
backwards through the gate.

She hit the ramp with a thud, relief surging through her as the familiar sound of the klaxons  
washed over her.

'Close the iris!' General Hammond's voice sounded, loud and clear, in the gateroom. She heard  
the iris slide shut over the still-active wormhole.

Then she looked down at Jack. His face was grey. He wasn't breathing. Sam looked wildly over him.  
He'd been hit. A bullet hole in his chest. High up. He should be breathing. 'I need a medic!'

'Medical team to the gateroom!' Sergeant Harriman's voice sounded over the blaring of the  
klaxon.

Sam laid Jack down on the ramp and began pushing down on his chest. _1…2…3….4….5. _Then  
closing her lips over his and breathing into his mouth. She wasn't sure how many times she  
repeated the process, enforced calm flowing though her, slowing time around her.

Jack coughed, rolling onto his side and coughing up blood onto the ramp. Janet and her team  
arrived and loaded him onto a gurney, fitting an oxygen mask over his face and rolling him  
away, Janet barking orders at her team.

The stargate shut down. Sam sat on the ramp, drained of all feeling. She knew everyone was  
watching her, waiting to see what she'd do. In the periphery of her vision she could see General  
Hammond watching her, an expression on his face that could only be called fatherly. Then he  
bustled off, probably bound for the infirmary, needing to check on his second in command.

Presently, Teal'c and Jonas appeared at her side. The huge Jaffa helping her to her feet with  
a gentleness that would have surprised anyone who didn't know him. They led her from the  
gateroom, their presence forestalling any questions from the dozens of people they passed.

--

_I would rather have died myself, than lose Carter._

Sam sat in the peaceful darkness of her lab, her head resting on her arms. Too exhausted to  
sleep, and not liking the idea of not being here, she'd come here to hide almost four hours ago.

Someone opened the door behind her.

'He's okay.'

Sam didn't look up as Janet moved into the lab, switching the desk lamp on. 'Sam, honey, you  
should go home.'

'Can I see him?' Sam asked, looking up at her friend.

Janet shook her head. 'He's in post op. He's still unconscious. Tomorrow.'

'General Hammond has me on enforced downtime,' Sam said feeling strangely detached from  
her own voice.

'You can come in for a visit,' Janet said reasonably. 'I'll talk to the General. You saved his life,  
Sam.'

'I don't want to go home, Janet.' Sam said, her voice small.

Janet regarded her friend for a minute. Sam, though showered and changed into a fresh  
uniform, looked dishevelled. Her eyes were wide, sparkling with exhaustion.

'Come on,' Janet said, 'You can come to my place and come back in with me in the morning.'

It was three am. Sam sat on the edge of the bed in Janet's spare room.

_I would rather have died myself, than lose Carter._

It seemed to Sam that the words had been going around and around in her head for the last  
two years, like an echo that hadn't yet died away. Normally the echo was quiet, steady, regular  
and unnoticed, like a heartbeat. Now it was loud, dominating her mind and keeping her awake.

She rose and tiptoed out of the house picking up Cassie's car keys on her way.


	3. Chapter 3

The infirmary was quiet and still. Sam asked the nurse on duty where Colonel O'Neill  
was and was informed that he was in a private room, recovering from his surgery.

'He needs rest, Major,' the nurse said, not unkindly.

'I won't wake him,' Sam said.

A bedside lamp dimly lighted Jack's room. His heart monitor beeped softly in the corner  
of the room. Sam picked up a chair from the corner of the room and moved it to the side  
of the bed. She sat down, looking up at Jack.

He looked better than he had at any point over the last week, but still far from his usual self.  
Sam reached out to where his hand lay loosely on the coverlet but stopped just shy of actually  
touching him, all too aware of where they were.

Suddenly feeling her exhaustion, she rested her head on her arms and fell asleep.

--

Sam was watching them torture Jack. Again and again they questioned him about why he was  
on the planet. Again and again, Jack said nothing. Finally they told him they would execute  
him in the morning.

They were back in the cell. Sam looked through the bars at Jack, unable to speak. He walked  
towards her, moving through the bars as though they were mist.

_I would rather have died myself, than lose Carter._

At first she thought he'd said the words, but his lips hadn't moved.

He was standing in front of her. Sam reached for him but he fell to the floor, blood seeping  
through the back of his uniform.

--

Sam awoke. It took her a moment to place where she was then the sound of Jack's heart  
monitor invaded her senses.

'I was wondering when you'd wake up.'

She looked up. Jack was watching her, his expression carefully guarded. Sam glanced at her  
watch. She'd been asleep only half an hour.

'Shouldn't you be resting?' she asked.

'I am. Shouldn't you be?'

'I was,' she shot back. 'Jack…'

Jack's eyebrows shot up. 'Jack?'

She nodded, opening her mouth to speak, but he interrupted her.

'Not here, Carter. I'll be out of here in the morning, we can talk then. Go get some rest.'

She held his gaze for a long moment, and then stood, her hand brushing over his gently.

'G'night, sir,' she said, turning and heading for the door.

'Thank you, Carter.'

She paused in the doorway, fighting the urge to turn back, to run to his bedside and drag him  
into her arms. Instead, she swallowed and said, 'No problem, sir.'

'Tomorrow, Carter.'

She nodded without turning and left the room, heading for her on-base quarters.

--

Jack lay awake, thinking about what had happened on the planet. His blood heated every time  
he thought about what had happened in the cell. He hadn't intended for it to happen, and he  
could see it causing a lot of trouble.

He found himself thinking about the nature of his job, of _the _job. You were supposed to be fighting  
for your country, or your planet, or some kind of ideal. But really, everyone was fighting for someone.  
It was like they wrapped all the things they were fighting for up and put them in one person, to make  
the job easier to do.

For years, Daniel had had Sha're. Then he'd had her memory. Teal'c had Ry'ac, his son, representative  
of the future of the Jaffa and the rebellion.

Jonas… well Jonas was fighting for his planet, even though they had exiled him, you could tell he was  
out there – in the galaxy – on their behalf.

Carter… he'd never really been able to work out how Carter kept going. She had her brother, of course,  
but… no. That didn't seem to be it.

He wondered how long it had been Carter for him. How long he'd been keeping himself out there by  
fighting for her, for what she represented to him. Jack shut his eyes. This was wrong. It would get them  
both in trouble. He needed her. He'd been ready to die in that cell on the – admittedly very slight – chance  
it would protect her.

While he was internally berating himself, his brain throwing up phrases like '_Conduct unbecoming an officer…_'  
another tiny part of his mind kept saying: _And she put herself in danger to save you_.

Wilfully ignoring the good thoughts the idea of this conjured up, Jack returned to his original thought.

This was going to get them both in trouble.

--

Sam awoke at seven am. She showered and changed into her spare street clothes. Then she made her  
way to the infirmary.

Colonel O'Neill was sitting in Dr Fraiser's office talking to both Janet and General Hammond. She watched,  
General Hammond and Janet seemed to be doing most of the talking.

After a few minutes the meeting broke up, the three of them moving out of the office and into the infirmary.  
General Hammond nodded to Sam in greeting, then hurried off towards his office. Jack and Janet walked  
over to Sam.

'I was just explaining to the Colonel that he needs plenty of rest and someone to drive him home. Since  
you're here and you're headed off base anyway…'

'I'll take him,' Sam said, wondering if her words came out too quickly.

Janet merely smirked slightly and said, I'll get an airman to take Cassie's car home for me.'

Sam looked at her friend apologetically, then spoke to Jack. 'You ready to go, sir?'

He nodded and they left the infirmary.

Neither of them spoke on the way to Jack's house. Sam followed him inside, feeling uncertain. Jack moved  
around his kitchen, limping slightly as he gathered two glasses.

'Let me do that,' Sam said gently, 'you sit down.'

He looked for a moment like he was going to refuse, then nodded and went and sat down on the couch.  
Sam looked in the fridge for juice, but, finding only beer, got them glasses of water.

As she expected, Jack pulled a face at the drink when she handed it to him, but said nothing.

They sat in silence for a moment. For her part, Sam was fighting the urge to climb into his lap and begin  
a reprise of their activities in the cell. She glanced at Jack out of the corner of her eye, wondering if he  
was going through the same thing.

Jack sighed and said, 'I'm sorry.' Apparently not thinking the same thing, then.

She found herself unable to meet his eyes. 'For what?'

He shifted in his seat, turning to face her. Then he put his fingers on her cheek, gently turning her to look  
at him. It seemed like his fingers burned her skin.

'I'm sorry for what I did and said in the cell, for the way I did and said it,' he said, 'I wish I could say I'm  
sorry that it happened, but-'

She leaned forwards and kissed him. It wasn't rushed, not hurried. She kissed him slowly, deliberately,  
her lips hard against his own. After what was probably a long time, but felt like milliseconds, Jack pulled back.

'We can't do this,' he said. 'Not yet.'

'Not _yet_?' She said. 'Then when?'

He shut his eyes, 'Carter…'

'Don't _Carter_ me, Jack. We can't keep putting this off. Now I know how you feel I'm not going to keep  
waiting for something that might never happen.'

'Now you know how I feel?' He repeated.

'In the cell, you said you loved me.'

'I do, I was just wondering about the 'now'.'

Sam swallowed, slightly taken aback at how casually he admitted to loving her. Somehow, she'd always  
imagined it would be hard for him to say. 'I didn't know, I thought…'

'You thought what, Sam?' he asked, his voice slightly colder than it had been a second ago.

'Since the whole… Zatarc thing you haven't said anything…' she murmured, realising how lame it sounded  
and hating herself for it.

'What was I supposed to do, Carter, throw you on the briefing room table and kiss you senseless in the  
middle of one of Daniel's rock hunting briefings.'

Sam felt the conversation change. _Daniel_. Daniel's death had changed things. She'd been angry. Angry with  
Jack for not sharing his grief. Thinking back on it, she knew why. If he'd shared that, what was to stop him  
sharing everything?

'You were waiting for me,' she said, realising as she said it that it was true.

He nodded and looked away. 'I would never do anything to harm your career.'

She glared at him. 'Isn't that my decision, _sir_?' she asked coldly.

He looked back at her. 'I'm your CO, Carter. Your career is important to me.'

'What about yours?' she demanded, knowing she was being childish.

He snorted derisively, somehow amused at the concept of his career being important. 'Don't get me wrong,  
Sam, I love what I do. But…' he trailed off, waving a hand vaguely.

'But what?' she pressed.

'I'd rather work out a way to have you in my life,' he said bluntly, 'if that means changes in the way I do  
my job, or if it means giving up that job altogether, that's fine by me.' He saw her expression, and said,  
'I've had enough, Sam. Losing Daniel… and then the whole thing with Baal…' he stopped unwilling to go  
any further down that avenue of conversation. 'But I've been informed by General Hammond - who was  
told by the president, no less – that I can't leave. We can't do this now. I will make this right, but not yet.'

'How can you say that?' She demanded. 'You can't make this decision for both of us.'

'I'm the team leader, it's my decision to make.'

Sam glared at him in disbelief. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out her cellphone.

'Who are you calling?' he asked warily.

'General Hammond,' she told him. 'I'm requesting a transfer off SG-1.'

He reached out and snatched her phone from her. 'Don't.'

'I can't go on missions with you now,' she said, fighting the tears she knew were ready to fall.

'Because I… negotiated for them to let you go? I'd do that for Teal'c, even Jonas, Carter. The only thing  
different was the reason.'

'Because I would rather die myself than lose you, Jack.' He stared at her, speechless. 'I love you,' she  
went on, unable to stop herself, 'just as much as you love me. And _I _can't do this anymore.'

He sat back on the couch, staring unseeing at the far wall, still clutching her cellphone. Sam looked at  
him, seeing how exhausted he was, and hating herself for putting him – _them- _through this. Sam gave  
in to the temptation that had been preying on her equilibrium since they sat down. She crawled into his  
lap, bending her neck until her lips met his.

Unsurprisingly, he was still for a few moments. Then he dropped her cellphone on the couch and slid his  
arms up her back, under her t-shirt. In one swift move, Jack had her lying on her back on the couch,  
covering her body with his own.

As his lips moved to her neck, Sam said, 'Jack…'

'No speaking, no thinking.'


	4. Chapter 4

Sam squirmed underneath Jack, slipping her hands up the back of his t-shirt  
and feeling the muscles rippling under her touch as he ran his hands over her body.

When her fingers ran lightly over the bandage over his shoulder, Sam hesitated. Jack,  
however, rolled his hips against hers, forcing thought from her mind.

All too soon, he was standing and pulling Sam to her feet. She looked up at him in  
incomprehension.

'Not here,' he told her huskily, pulling her through the house.

--

She had to hand it to him, Sam mused, lying in Jack's bed hours later. _'No talking, no  
thinking_.' She stretched languorously. Yes, Jack O'Neill was definitely on to something.

She looked over at his sleeping form, wincing at the tension still showing in his face. If  
the last few days had told her anything, it was that she couldn't keep putting this off. She  
couldn't be sure that, when the time was 'right', he'd still be here, or that either of them  
would be in a fit state to have _this_.

And she wanted this. Wanted it so much she could feel it, an almost physical ache she couldn't  
afford to ignore any longer. Frustrated, she rose from the bed and left the room.

Ten minutes later, Jack found her sitting at the kitchen table, sipping from a cup of coffee.

'Couldn't sleep, huh?' he asked, walking over to the machine and pouring himself a cup. He  
was still limping, Sam noticed.

Then she wondered at herself. What had she expected? That his injuries would disappear once  
she got him home?

He sat down opposite her, his movements stiff, forcing her to recall that only yesterday he'd  
been fighting for his life. And now she was here, demanding his attention and keeping him awake.

He must have guessed the direction her mind had taken, because the next words out of his  
mouth were: 'I heal fast.' She nodded and looked down at the cup between her hands. 'So,  
couldn't sleep, huh?' he repeated.

'I didn't want to wake you, so I came in here.' Her eyes flicked to the bandage wrapped around  
his shoulder, concealing the bullet wound. 'How are you feeling?'

He gave a one-shouldered shrug and smiled wryly. 'The doc gave me some painkillers.'

She rose and walked over to the window, gazing out at the garden where it was just beginning to  
get dark. 'What are we going to do?' She asked, hearing the harshness she injected into her  
voice to compensate for the vulnerability she felt.

'What do you want to do?' he asked, walking over and standing next to her, shoving his hands  
into the pockets of the jeans he was wearing.

'I want you,' she said, resisting the temptation to look at him.

'Back at ya,' he said, 'but what I said last night was the truth. They won't let me go yet.'

'What about-'

'Don't even _think_ about it. If you left because of me I'll be cleaning latrines for the rest of my  
natural life.'

Sam smiled and looked down. 'We don't both have to be on SG-1.' Sam said, thoughtfully.

Jack looked at her, 'No.'

'Hear me out,' she insisted. 'I could transfer-'

'No,' Jack said again, firmer this time.

Sam looked up at him, his jaw was set in a firm line. 'Jack, I told you last night, I can't go  
offworld with you anymore, I'm a liability.'

'And _I _told _you_ I would have done the same thing for Teal'c, even for Jonas. I can't afford to  
lose you from SG-1.'

'I love you, Jack.'

Jack stared at her, obviously at a loss.

'I love you,' she repeated, 'and I can't live like this anymore. I love my job, you know that,  
but its not enough. I can't keep going out there when I've got nothing to come home to.' She  
looked up at him and saw understanding in his eyes. She felt her own eyes burning with tears  
and bit her lip to keep them from falling. 'I can't keep being around you and missing you at the  
same time.'

Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. 'I don't think they'll let either of us transfer.'

'Then they'll have to take us both to courts-martial,' she said savagely.

Jack grinned down at her. 'This isn't like you, Carter.'

'If they want to keep us, they'll find a way.' She said.

'You sound sure of yourself.'

She nodded against his chest. 'I am. I won't lose you.'

'Don't do this just because of what happened on the planet,' Jack said, suddenly serious.

'I'm not. It was the catalyst,' she admitted, 'but this has been a long time coming, Jack. We  
should have talked about this two years ago.'

Jack dipped his head and kissed her on the mouth softly. 'You're wrong about that, Sam, we  
should have talked about this _at least_five years ago.' Before she could respond, he covered her  
lips with his own.

Sam reached up and pushed her fingers into his hair, pulling his head down further. Her other  
hand slid over his bare torso, feeling the muscles move under her fingertips as Jack's hands  
moved over her body. Her fingers reached the material of the bandage and stopped.

'We shouldn't be doing this.'

'You didn't say that earlier,' Jack said, his mouth, tongue and teeth going to work on her neck.

'I wasn't…' she gasped as he found a particularly sensitive spot, 'I wasn't thinking clearly earlier.'

'Doesn't sound like you're thinking too clearly now.'

'Jack…' she said, the word coming out as more of a hiss than the exclamation of indignance she'd  
intended. Feeling him smirk against her skin, she tried again, 'Jack!'

He sighed. 'Okay, how about we go to bed?' She glared at him. 'What? I'll be resting!'

She continued to regard him suspiciously for a few moments, and then she turned and preceded  
him out of the kitchen, pulling Jack by the hand.

'Lying down, anyway,' Jack murmured.


End file.
